Motherhood as a career

Motherhood is a wonderful career. It involves a lot of sh*t, but I guess all careers have their positive and negative sides.

To start your career as a mother, you must first have unprotected sex. To be able to have unprotected sex and a "protected" relationship, you must find a male partner, preferably an honest, reliable and well-earning man who would be there for you, who would support you while you perform your never-ending career of motherhood.

Since you will probably be with that man almost all of your life, you better make a good choice. There is no effective formula for a "good choice," but a good-looking one is logical because you will be seeing this guy day after day, night after night. Your children will look like him. (There is a formula involving the milkman to bypass this rule, but this column is not the appropriate place to tell you how.)

The mindset of looking for a good-looking partner is reciprocal, meaning you have to look nice to be able to find the match you desire.

You will have to take care of yourself from a young age for your motherhood career in order to be able to find a male partner who is good looking, reliable and - if possible - rich.

You have to put motherhood at the center of your life as your major career. There are also minor careers that go along with it, such as cooking, cleaning, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, ironing, setting the table, being a nice and smiling partner in social events, planning holidays, planning house parties, preparing meals for guests, entertaining guests, looking after children, nursing, cleaning the children's sh*t (which I mentioned at the beginning), etc.

Besides taking good care of yourself, you also have to educate yourself well, learn...