BLOG: How much do we know about rape?

A few days ago, a man called me telling me he had found my number via a job search site and asked me if I could help him out with his career plans as, he said, he admired my CV and believed I could advise him. "Of course," I said, without giving it much thought. He then told me he would call back later for a longer discussion. The same night he called as he had promised. The classic "Hello, how are you" chitchat followed, until I asked him how he was, to which he answered, "Well, how is it possible to not feel good talking to such a beautiful voice." I immediately felt tired. As I was speaking to him while I was cooking dinner, he heard the clinging of pans, and asked me if I was busy. Without giving it much thought, again, I answered, "Well, my husband will be home shortly, so I'm cooking dinner." He then wished me good luck with my life and hung up.

Here is what has been bugging me since this discussion: Why did I need to use my boyfriend to say what could have been said with a shorter and simpler word: NO. Plus, my boyfriend and I are not even married, but I probably felt the need to use the word "husband" for its social weight. Now that I think of it, why does my NO weigh less when it stands alone than when it's backed up by a man? I feel ashamed as a woman for hiding behind someone to express myself. A large number of women do this. If they do not want someone to flirt with them, follow them or ask them personal questions, they immediately insert the "cock-blocker" boyfriend (imaginary or not) into the picture. But why does a "NO, THANK YOU" weigh less?

I believe this thought mechanism, as small as it sounds, is the source of the main problem when talking about inequality. My words weigh so much less, and I, unconsciously, am so aware of it...