Muslims discovered Mercedes!

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan argues that the American continent was discovered by Muslim sailors some 300 years before Christopher Columbus – and that Muslims had even built a mosque atop a hill near the Cuban shore. Science and Technology (Science!) Minister Fikri Işık claims that Muslim scientists working around 1,200 years ago (some 700-800 years before Galileo Galilei) were the first to determine that the Earth is a sphere. These are all controversial theories. But the luxury car Mercedes is discovered by Muslims every day, most recently by the top Turkish clergy.

Professor Mehmet Görmez, the president of the Religious Affairs Directorate (Diyanet), is the inventor of the theory that Christians should celebrate when Muslims (Ottomans) capture Christian lands, as this is a merry event and they are lucky because their hearts and minds will be “conquered” by Islam. All the same, when non-Muslims take back the lands they lost to Muslims this amounts to the sinful act of “occupation.”

According to this theory, Professor Görmez should be feeling sorry for the Viennese, because in 1683 they lost the chance of pure happiness of having their minds and hearts conquered. It’s never too late; the Viennese are smart people. But apparently, 2014 is no good time for the Muslim conquest of Christian lands by the force of the sword; but luckily sophisticated methods exist in the times of Turkish science. Professor Görmez may have given up on Vienna, but he sure knows how to conquer and win hearts and minds in Bavaria – where the Germans build Mercedes cars for the world’s richest.

A couple of weeks ago, Hürriyet ran a story that claimed a foundation run by Diyanet had decided to purchase a top class Merdeces S500, with...