The Guardian: May's Brexit Deal is Already Doomed. Here's How the Christmas Meltdown Could Play Out

 It was a funeral masquerading as a baptism. In Brussels, Theresa May's Brexit deal was welcomed into the world by the UK's 27 soon-to-be-ex-partners and the priesthood of the European commission, The Guardian reported .

Yet she should have been wearing black and a mantilla. The deal is, as Tony Blair told the BBC's Andrew Marr, a "dodo". In her open letter to the nation, the prime minister declared that the agreement "is in our national interest - one that works for our whole country and all of our people … a deal for a brighter future".

But this is an ex-deal. The only reason it is sitting on its perch is because it has been nailed there.

It is dead because - barring a truly dramatic realignment of parliamentary opinion - it simply cannot survive the "meaningful vote" in the House of Commons expected on 10 December.

Julian Smith, the government chief whip - who looks like a dentist who positively enjoys giving his patients insufficient Novocaine - is now May's most important cabinet colleague by far. In the next fortnight he and his team must use every conceivable inducement and threat to reach the magic total of 320 votes: knighthoods, peerages, gongs and legislative time will be offered to waverers. Those MPs who oppose the deal will be asked whether their families would really enjoy reading about their sexual indiscretions in the newspapers. Most of this nasty work will be carried out by intermediaries (even whips need plausible deniability). But any and every tactic available to the government will be used; this is life and death, and no time for political squeamishness.

ut I still don't see how Smith does it. Some MPs, strapped to the dentist's chair, will...